I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.
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Mother Teresa
Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same -- with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead.
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Mother Teresa
I have not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work.
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Thomas A. Edison
I have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like this: 'Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you.' … The twenty-five percent is for error.
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Linus Pauling
Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
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C.E.M. Joad
More Quotes By Demetri Martin
I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot...
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames! ” or “Smoke maker! ” or “Bad hot!