I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.

Demetri Martin
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world. - Mother Teresa

  2. Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same -- with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead. - Mother Teresa

  3. I have not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work. - Thomas A. Edison

  4. I have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like this: 'Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you.' … The twenty-five percent is for error. - Linus Pauling

  5. Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources - C.E.M. Joad

More Quotes By Demetri Martin
  1. I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

  2. Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!

  3. I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot...

  4. THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

  5. It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames! ” or “Smoke maker! ” or “Bad hot!

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